And the bells toll

There is something quite … well surreal I guess would be the word … about weddings. Even those that start at the unGodly hour of 9am on a Saturday morning when the rest of the world is allowed to sleep in.

That was how I spent this morning – in church bearing witness to an ancient rite of passage for a guy I’ve known all his life.

From his birth as a “blue baby” with a possible hole in the heart complication which thankfully didn’t materialise, to a  very happy child with – at least to me – was a very large head!

While I’ve watched him grow up – and I’m sure I’ve changed a nappy or two of his – in many ways, he will also be that quite kid, always in the background, perfectly behaved.

Got the message?

TOH sent me this email a few days ago … the message is well …less than subtle …

BEFORE MARRIAGE

AFTER MARRIAGE

AFTER DIVORCE

The guilty mind (which is inherent in every red-blooded male of the species) tells me that I’ve probably done many things to deserve this little “reminder” … but just can’t help wondering which little secret she’s on to …

One Woman, 10,000 pairs of shoes … go figure!

I know I really shouldn’t go here and it will inevitably be an exercise in futility that could very well end with a flaming Molotov tampon hurled in my direction. But I just don’t get it and possibly never will understand women and their fascination with shoes. (The picture on the left is a small part of what must surely now be a world record of shoes)

TOH has got enough to shoe every person in a small third world country and the collection only keeps growing. I know women want to look nice and coordinated and the male of the species would certainly want them to. Guys will own one (maybe two as a spare) pairs of black shoes and that goes with just about everything in his limited wardrobe.

The Other Half

I wonder who was the guy who coined this phrase. Bet you it wasn’t a guy at all. Sounds that a female hand behind it.

Why does one refer to a woman you are involved in or worse still married to, suddenly become TOH. Weren’t you whole before?

Now the phrase “the ole ball and chain” – yup that’s one I can identify with. Hook up with a woman and freedom goes out the window. Hey maybe that explains the former phrase … you can’t make a decision without getting TOH involved (read permission).

How quickly the blissful days of courting ends with a ring which soon turns into a yoke men must wear. How quickly the soft seductive cooing “whatever you want dear” turns into “and who told you could you think?”

Maybe The Other Half ain’t all that far removed from the truth after all.

Glossary – What it all means …

TOH = The Other Half

WTF = What the Fuck!