I know I really shouldn’t go here and it will inevitably be an exercise in futility that could very well end with a flaming Molotov tampon hurled in my direction. But I just don’t get it and possibly never will understand women and their fascination with shoes. (The picture on the left is a small part of what must surely now be a world record of shoes)
TOH has got enough to shoe every person in a small third world country and the collection only keeps growing. I know women want to look nice and coordinated and the male of the species would certainly want them to. Guys will own one (maybe two as a spare) pairs of black shoes and that goes with just about everything in his limited wardrobe.
I can appreciate that it’s different for women. They need to match colours, heel heights, formal, not-so-formal etc. That’s fine. So a woman needs lots more shoes than us guys. Okay I can understand that … so far.
Now comes the tricky part … TOH buys shoes like almost every other week. She takes them out of the boxes and with loving care, adds them to her already impressive standing army of flats, pumps, stiletoes (okay I can’t even spell that) and what have you.
All this will still makes sense if she actually uses them but many of the shoes remain unused, in pristine condition. Maybe she’s waiting for a rainy day … yeah right … new shoes on a rainy day … maybe she just hasn’t bought the right outfit yet. In that case, I think I better move to the poor house now …
Then the boxes go into separate collection. Mind you these are all just EMPTY boxes. Maybe there’s a good reason – “I need to see the shoes and I can’t thru the box wat!” Okay that’s logical enough. So the shoes are all displayed on the floor of the study, the hall, near the front door, in the library, my bedroom has a lingering scent of … well … feet.
Still on the boxes … they take up all the shelves in the store room, they form a precarious leaning tower next to the study table. A couple of weeks ago she bought a ten-decker see-through plastic shoe cabinet.
“It can hold 40 pairs of shoes” says she. ..
“Ahh my salvation,” I thought …
boy was I stupid back then. The new shoe cabinet is STILL EMPTY.
I’m simply not brave enough to ask why the shoes don’t go in the shoes cabinet as one assumes is the law of logic. I guess women and logic don’t quite mix.
Once in my younger, more naive days, I suggested that, well, maybe, perhaps, we may want to consider, erm, getting rid of some of those empty boxes that we just taking up space and gathering dust?
Let’s just say the cold look I got in return could herald the next Ice Age.
So I’ll keep my suggestions to myself as the collection grows beyond ridiculous levels. I’ll take comfort in the knowledge that there are many things MAN was not meant to understand – the woman being number one.
